Merry Cwistmas Y'all

Hey errbody! I hope you're all having a wonderful Christmas! Happy birthday Jesus! I thought I'd just share my favorite Christmas videos like Isabel did!

The Epic of Pee Wee

Recently I re-watched Pee Wee's Big Adventure, and let me tell you, it is the most fun you can have without leaving your house! Paul Reubens is a comedic genius! Just watch this clip and you'll see what I mean



Don't you want to do that every morning!? I sure do!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!

Pee-Wee is just so silly! He goes on all these adventures to try to find his bike, which was stolen by this evil roly poly bully Frances. I love so many parts of the movie, but my favorites would have to be Large Marge, the Alamo, and the ending when they show the Pee Wee Herman movie. HILARIOUS!

If you haven't seen the movie, watch it NOW! HERE

Here are a few of my favorite Pee Wee gifs, as a treat from me to you:

Happy Holidaze

I guess technically I should have posted something about hanukkah, but unfortch I was lazy and it's no longer relevant. To celebrate the season and the coming new year (look out for a new year's resolution post dudes!) here are some festive videos!

FREQQLES

Foot Stompin

I am very picky about shoes, which is why most of mine end up being plain (black boots, white flats, and tan heels etc....oh wait except for my neon Adidas, those are straight up WACKY!) That's why I was surprised I liked the kicks at Osborn Design Studios so much. I really like lace-ups like these, which are usually plain and WAY overpriced. Ok these are probably overpriced too, but being hot shit ain't cheap!!

Even though these shoes are pretty bold, I feel like they're still versatile. Basically I just want a pair of these babies because they would look HOT on the dancefloor. And anything that distracts from my horrific dance moves is automatically a must have for my closet.
If you have any Jews in your life, this is a perfect Hanukkah gift! And by Jews I mean me.

Listening to:
T.I. - Hell of a Life
The Flares - Foot Stompin
Lissie Trullie - Self Taught Learner

My Spirit Animal

TORO Y MOI

I've been taking a break from my usual hardcore goth metal music since I stumbled upon Toro y Moi, a one man band from Columbia, South Carolina. Usually I get annoyed with bands that have this much buzz on the "interweb"/"blogosphere" but this lives up to the hype in addition to your wildest dreams!

Toro Y Moi - "Blessa" (live in San Francisco) from Jordan Bee on Vimeo.

"Causers of This" is set to come out in February 2k10, and it's going to be a long wait! All of the songs are so relaxing without being boring, which would be the WORST. They're like lullabies you can dance to!

Mas: this and this

Waits To Go

Gimme Shelter

Roofless Church, New Harmony, IN

Bruno Taut's Glass Pavilion
Gaudi, La Sagrada Familia

I don't have a real point to this post, these are just some places I've been thinking about and wanting to visit (even though the glass pavilion no longer exists, R.I.P) My main goal in life is to become fabulously wealthy so that I can have a few dozen houses all designed by famous architects. And each house will have a room just for piling up money!

Listening To:
Beach House - Used to Be
Otis Redding - Pain in My Heart

Pick Up Lines

When I went to France for the first time, I was 16 and everything felt new and special just because it was french. I was walking around Paris like I had never seen a car before ("omg smartcars!), or a person wearing a scarf (how do they tie them so perfectly?) And while the Louvre and the Eiffel Tower are all well and good, the one thing that makes me the most nostalgic is Pick Ups, a delightful German graham cookie with a pat of milk chocolate on top.
Whereas American chocolate bars are stingy and give you one bar in a pack, Pick-Ups come 5 IN A PACK!! Read the label people, that's 5X CHOCO!!

It even has an awesome catchphrase "Upupup...C'est Pickup" Try saying it with a cheesy French accent without drooling with hunger.

The moral of this blog post is that pickups are the greatest source of nourishment in the world and you should all send me money so that I can buy myself cases of this delicious elixir.

Childhood Throwback

Woah guys! An internet miracle just occurred! I was surfing around youtube and this video came up on my "Recommended for You" I never knew youtube knew me so well!



I hope y'all know that this is a live action rendition of THE BEETS from Nick's amazing show DOUG!!!
I'm sorry, but I am just so excited I found this! Seriously, the song "I Need More Allowance" basically describes my life! And you can tell these guys put a lot of effort into this (although I'd hate to be the one stuck with being the keyboardist. He looks like he's having a blast...)

So this video basically brought back all of my childhood memories, and I spent the next few hours rewatching the theme song over and over again. I had forgotten how much I LOVED this show! It taught me how to "double dog doughnut doctor dare" someone

Here's a challenge, try to listen to the theme song without it getting stuck in your head

Guys don't make passes at girls who wear glasses

(the Rome in clear)

I hate wearing my glasses. Hate. I think I look like an escaped soviet socialist who escaped from the Gulag. The worst part is, my glasses are fancy and expensive and French. If I could do it over, I would definitely choose a pair of glasses from London-based Prism, because they are b-e-a-utiful.

(the New York in cream tortoise shell)

Sure, they're probably too big for my face, but I would totally get complete facial reconstructive surgery for a pair of these babies, they are just that awesome. On the flip side, I look like this when I wear my glasses, which is why I usually wear contacts!

P.S. Hope y'all had a happy Thanksgiving! I was going to make a post honoring this holiday but I decided against it since that would mean admitting that I theoretically ate half my body weight in pumpkin pie alone...which didn't happen. ever.

Gabourey Sidibe

OK, we need to take a minute to talk about how f*@%$% amazing Gabourey Sidibe is. I seriously have the biggest friendship crush on her. You know, a friendship crush, where you want to become best friends with someone because they look so amazing.


Gabourey is starring in the upcoming movie Precious, as an teenager in Harlem who is abused in all ways by her mom (Mo'Nique [I know i was surprised too!]) and is raped and impregnated by her father twice, and one of her children has Down Syndrome. Suffice to say, it's going to be a tearjerker, or what my dad calls an "Oprah moment." (interpret that any way you want)

I first saw this video of Gabourey on Ellen, and as soon as she started dancing, I was in like with her.


She's so funny and nice! I'm seriously very upset that i don't know her. And on Late Night with Conan O'brien, she talked about how she was obsessed with *NSYNC, and I knew we were soul mates.

I haven't seen Precious yet, but I am some time this week because I have to write a review of it for my school newspaper. I already know I am going to fall apart at the movie. I started crying when I was watching the trailer. In my defense, it had been an emotional week. Maybe if the review isn't total poop, I'll post it up here. But you should probably see Precious anyway, just for Gabourey (and also for Mariah Carrey without her makeup. Hopefully, Mariah's preformance will be good, so we can all move on from the Glitter fiasco...)

Songs to embarrass yourself to

When I went back home for winter break, my friend I went out to this seedy bar by my house on a Thursday night. We actually chose this night because it was KARAOKE NIGHT! I have a terrible voice, so I was pretty nervous despite the fact that the average patron was either an aging drunk or a nerdy metro station reject.

Since I knew what I was getting myself into, I had dorkily prepared some songs to choose so that I wouldn't cop out and sing Journey...total social suicide these days. And my buddy shared his secret signature karaoke song ("party all the time"), and so I'm going to fill y'all in so you don't embarrass yourself in this situation! These are the best songs for karaoke if you have a terrible voice:

Eddie Murphy - Party All the Time
Ok ok, this requires a more advanced vocal range than the other songs, and not all of us can have the finesse of Eddie, but this is a song you can get away with sounding kind of bad, because it's such a crowd pleaser! Seriously, only the worlds biggest douche would heckle you if you were singing in the note of F instead of b sharp, or whatever.

Outkast - Ms. Jackson
I'm biased because this was my junior high JAM, but honestly you could talk like Stephen Hawking people would be cheering, this song is that good. Another reason you can cruise through this song is because you pretty much stick to one note and the beat is so catchy that people won't be listening to your crummy voice.


Salt N Pepa ft. En Vogue - Whatta Man
CLASSIC. But be careful if you can't read quickly because these ladies slow down for no one! Just take deep breaths and you should be fine.

The Spice Girls - Wannabe
There is not a single man, woman or child on earth who does not recognize this song. I guarantee you that if you choose this song, everyone, even that creepy old man who looks like ed bundy's apprentice will have his hands up in the air and will probably jump on the bar as soon as they hear the words "if you wannabe my lover..."

Biz Markie - Just a Friend
This is my favorite song of all time, and it will most likely be played at my funeral (yes I already have a playlist for my funeral and maybe it includes most of the songs on the Barbara Streisand's greatest hits album) This song is so amazing because your voice will always be better than Biz Markie's!! Everyone can identify with the plight of Biz, and it's catchy enough that it won't make your audience want to kill themselves.

SONGS THAT ARE OFF LIMITS: anything by Mariah Carey, and that's it really.

P.S. I know that karaoke is sort of ridiculous but it is also totally fun, just ask these people.

Doodlydoos

Basically all I've been doing these past few weeks (besides school work, and watching 30 Rock, and solving crossword puzzles [I'm a dork]) is doodling. Since they're the only things I have to show for myself lately, I've decided to share some of my recent ones.


The goal in all of them is to make them as ridiculous and weird as possible. Before they were just faces I came up with, but I've started using real life strange looking people I see everyday as inspiration.





(P.S. these are all also my dream men...KIDDING!...or am I? I am....)

In which I explain my preferred broadcasted moving images

I'm supposed to be studying for som boring architecture exam but let's be honest here, who needs that kind of stress?? Am I right? Let me take a moment here to outline 3 of my current favorites in the TV realm. As you can see, I used an incredibly pretentious title to try and convince you that there is some kind of deeper, social and cultural meaning behind each of these programs. But you know what? I don't have the energy to do that so this is basically just a collection of funny clips that I've collected for my own self-indulgence. You're welcome!1

1. SUMMER HEIGHTS HIGH

This Australian import revolves around three characters in a public school, all played by Chris Lilley. When I first saw it I figured it was another one of those weird copykittens of the Office's mockumentary style, but this is actually so ridiculously hilarious and strangely intriguing.

2. KIDS IN THE HALL

The Daves I Know

JonathanTheGreat | MySpace Video
An oldie but a goodie! The thing about this show is it's such a 90s alternative comic sensibility, so wacky and understated and with skits that are so original and out there. But then again what do i know. I was a nerdy kid for most/all of the 90s, I'm not the authority on the decade, shit.

3. FREAKS AND GEEKS

I saved the best for last because Freaks and Geeks is clearly the greatest show of all time. If you haven't seen this, I'm disappointed.

Sounds of Twin Peaks

I think I'm about 20 years late, but recently I have become OBSESSED with Twin Peaks. The first season is so good! I just love Agent Cooper and Sheriff Truman and Hawk and Lucy and Andy!!!! Phew...I need to calm down a little...If you don't know, Twin Peaks was a hit show in 1990 created by David Lynch and Mark Frost. It's about a murder of a popular, beautiful girl in a small town in Washington. FBI agent Agent Dale Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan) is called in to help local law enforcement, and magic happens!

So anyhows, I'm not done with the series yet (I'm only about half way through season 2) but I have already downloaded the soundtrack for seasons 1 and 2 AND I AM HOOKED! Something about the music is just great! Everything is composed by Angelo Badalamenti, and it has an beautifully eerie sound that fits so well with the show.

One of my favorite things about Twin Peaks is the theme song. It makes me a little scared and a little excited, and it gets me in the mood for mystery! The music also fits the sort of bizarre atmosphere the show has. For example, Agent Cooper has dreams of a midget in a red room, and a giant that visits him and gives him clues. And everything he dreams out of the blue turns out to be true! And it's perfect!




I definitely recommend listening/downloading the soundtrack for Twin Peaks. It is one of the most relaxing things I've ever listened to. Every song fits with the others, but they are also distinct in their own ways. And the range is amazing! There are jazzy songs, and swing tunes, it's just great.


Recommended Tracks (song & album)

Just You -Season Two Music and More
High School Swing - Season Two Music and More
Love Theme Farewell - Season Two Music and More
Audrey's Dance - Twin Peaks
Falling - Twin Peaks

TEEN TUNES #4: The Beets

K so in August I went to a ~SeCrEt sHoW~ for the Virgins at Santo's Party House (which is owned by Andrew W.K, pretty cool huh?) and the opening band was THE BEETS. I'd heard of them before and ovbviously got the Doug reference, so I was intrigued.


Anyways at this concert my friends and I wiggled our way to the front row, so I got a pretty good look at these bros and I have to say they seem like a really fun trio. I bet they secretly (or maybe proudly) watch shows like The Golden Girls and laugh at all the right parts, while trying to decide which pokemon they are most like. This is all speculation though, and the only thing I can prove is that the lyrics in their song "The Devil" make me giggle and remind me of being 14.

Chanel Spring/Summer 2009

I don't really follow runway shows, but I just saw a video for Chanel Spring/Summer 2010, and it's absolutely the sweetest, most adorable thing I've seen in ages! It's a mix of the provincial peasant wear with the chic glittery touch of Karl Lagerfeld. Speaking of Karlos, has anyone noticed what a jokester he is?? The "Five o'CLOG" joke? PRICELESS. Of course, he's a total diva, but I would be too if I made something as amazing as this. Watch the video for more Lagerlols:


Here are some of my favorite looks from the show:

This is such a coincidence since I just saw "Coco Avant Chanel" at the lovely Paris Theatre in New York, which is right beside the Plaza Hotel. Audrey Tautou fit the role well, but I think it was a bit cheesy. And I'm sure there were more interesting things about her than the guys she dated, which was the focus of the movie. That's hot and all, but the whole nazi thing might have been more interesting than her boyf taking her on vacation. I would forgive everything if the House of Chanel sent me some of those dresses...please.

Never Mind the Buzzcocks

Oh God, I'm so embarrassed! I've been such a bad blogger! I don't know what I did to deserve such a beautiful sister who's put up with me and hasn't even called me and threatened me if I didn't do a blog post ASAP.


But let's move past that now. What I really came here to talk about is television. It must have been about 2 or 3 years ago that Isabel first introduced me to Never Mind the Buzzcocks. It's a British quiz show, the likes of which are not available in the U.S. There are two teams, and they answer pop culture questions for points. The actually game isn't as important as the witty jokes and smart remarks that are supplied by the team captains and the host. The 4 guests are usually in the music biz or professional comedians. It was love at first site for me (which really annoyed Isabel because I was being a little copy kitten)
I've seen a few episodes with the original host Mark Lamarr, but I really am a Simon Amstell loyalist. I know he's an "annoying twit" blah blah blah but he's HILARIOUS. I think people need a person like him in their lives, one that will say things that aren't necessarily popular, but are for the most part true and always funny. I wish I had a friend like him. I wish he was my friend.
Sadly, Simon has just left the show! And so has Bill Baily! (middle, right, respectively) The new series started on Thursday (October 1st) and I seriously almost cried. Phill Jupitus must be so lonely. He's the only person who's been on the show since its beginning in 1996!
I'd also like to point out that the team captain taking Bill's place is Noel Fielding of "The Mighty Boosh" fame, and he is 100 times funny on this than on Boosh. Trust me.

In honor of a whole new era in Never Mind the Buzzcocks, and the fact that I love lists, I've decided to share my favorite episodes. (These aren't really in any order other than which ones came to mind first)

1. The first episode I ever saw was with Amy Winehouse, and that one is a GEM. Amy must have been intoxicated, but it makes for a VERY good show. Simon seems especially funny in this one.
(watch it)

2. Mark Ronson, who I LOVE, has been on Never Mind the Buzzcocks twice. The first time he was a guest and Simon kept making fun of him for making Amy Winehouse a drug addict. It was funny, but Mark looked annoyed the whole time.(watch it) However, the second time he was in much better spirits as a guest host! (watch it!) I recommend them both, but definitely see the second one! He just seems like such a cool cat.

3. Ricky Wilson of the Kaiser Chiefs was a guest host after the release of their first album. This episode is also great because of Ryan Jarman from The Cribs, who claims he invented Live 8! (watch it)

4. A lot of Americans have been on the show, and I think they do it partly because they know (almost) no one in America will see it. That's my guess as to why DAVID CROSS!!!! was on it, but sure am glad he was! This is a star studded episode with JERMAINE JACKSON!! That man has such an amazing speaking voice. I could listen to him talk all day long. (watch it)

5. Another great one features Donny Tourette, who is in some band or another (I think it's called Towers of London...something like that.) He basically looks like a major douchebag the whole show, but it's great. (watch it)

6. Does anyone here watch Skins? Well, Nick Hoult (major cutie) was on Never Mind the Buzzcocks! Nick isn't especially funny in this episode, but it's still a great one! (watch it)

7. I really like Lily Allen because she's not afraid to say how she feels. I also like her cover of Womanizer. I don't really know what else to say about this other than it was goood. (watch it)

8. I'm not the biggest Kate Nash fan, but this is a great episode. Matthew Horne, who I hadn't heard of before, and Martin Freeman of The Office (the original) make this a hilarious one! (watch it)

9. I used to LOVE Flight of the Conchords, but I haven't actually seen it in a while. Anyways, Kristen Schaal is a guest on this episode, and she's pretty funny. Noel Fielding is a guest captain, and he is absolutely fantastic! There's a great part where him and Simon have what I can only describe as a nonsense fight. It's a must see! (watch it)


I actually don't have a number 10 because I am dedicated to excellence, not mediocrity.

Best collage ever: