Monday, November 16, 2009

Songs to embarrass yourself to


When I went back home for winter break, my friend I went out to this seedy bar by my house on a Thursday night. We actually chose this night because it was KARAOKE NIGHT! I have a terrible voice, so I was pretty nervous despite the fact that the average patron was either an aging drunk or a nerdy metro station reject.

Since I knew what I was getting myself into, I had dorkily prepared some songs to choose so that I wouldn't cop out and sing Journey...total social suicide these days. And my buddy shared his secret signature karaoke song ("party all the time"), and so I'm going to fill y'all in so you don't embarrass yourself in this situation! These are the best songs for karaoke if you have a terrible voice:

Eddie Murphy - Party All the Time
Ok ok, this requires a more advanced vocal range than the other songs, and not all of us can have the finesse of Eddie, but this is a song you can get away with sounding kind of bad, because it's such a crowd pleaser! Seriously, only the worlds biggest douche would heckle you if you were singing in the note of F instead of b sharp, or whatever.

Outkast - Ms. Jackson
I'm biased because this was my junior high JAM, but honestly you could talk like Stephen Hawking people would be cheering, this song is that good. Another reason you can cruise through this song is because you pretty much stick to one note and the beat is so catchy that people won't be listening to your crummy voice.


Salt N Pepa ft. En Vogue - Whatta Man
CLASSIC. But be careful if you can't read quickly because these ladies slow down for no one! Just take deep breaths and you should be fine.

The Spice Girls - Wannabe
There is not a single man, woman or child on earth who does not recognize this song. I guarantee you that if you choose this song, everyone, even that creepy old man who looks like ed bundy's apprentice will have his hands up in the air and will probably jump on the bar as soon as they hear the words "if you wannabe my lover..."

Biz Markie - Just a Friend
This is my favorite song of all time, and it will most likely be played at my funeral (yes I already have a playlist for my funeral and maybe it includes most of the songs on the Barbara Streisand's greatest hits album) This song is so amazing because your voice will always be better than Biz Markie's!! Everyone can identify with the plight of Biz, and it's catchy enough that it won't make your audience want to kill themselves.

SONGS THAT ARE OFF LIMITS: anything by Mariah Carey, and that's it really.

P.S. I know that karaoke is sort of ridiculous but it is also totally fun, just ask these people.

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